We have all been there. One moment you and your girlfriend and wife was happily talking to each other about what happened today. The next moment, you made an off the cuff remark that was admittedly quite insensitive, causing her to be so angry at you she ignores your touch, gives you cold as steel responses and maybe don’t even respond your text.
It is perfectly normal to have an argument once in a while but you need to know how to use the problem as an opportunity to make the relationship stronger.
Here are some tips on how to soothe her angry soul and get your relationship back on track.
Know why she is angry
There are many guys who we know that will ask an angry lady “why she is angry” and get the most indirect answer – ‘no reason why’. The fact that you have to ask that question just makes her even angrier because you remind her that you don’t know why she is angry and she has to teach you why.
While it may not really make logical sense to you, sometimes what she wants is to know why you did what you did and if you value her as you said you would. Many a time, guys forget that as much as we don’t know why she is angry, she also has no clue why we did what we did. It can be as simple as not replying a text because you are in a meeting or something more serious like forgetting an appointment altogether. While there may be a good reason why you said or did something, she often does not know. In that confusion and lack of clarity, your loved one naturally attributes all that to a lack of concern for her.
Which brings us to the following point:
8 out of 10 times, it doesn’t matter what you think you did as she is angry because she thinks you just do not care enough.
The Psychology of Disappointment
To understand why she is disappointed with you, it may help to first understand the psychology of disappointment. While we are not psychology experts here, we will try to share our understanding of the situation. The reason why we are so adverse to disappointment is because it is a feeling of disconnect. When we feel disappointed, we seem to be unable to meet a particular expectation. In thinking that you are not what she expects, she feels that you have let her down and thus cannot be trusted.
Hence, the key is to establish in her mind that you are actually still the loving and attentive guy that she fell in love with and that was just a misunderstanding. If this is really true, how does one even do that?
Sending Flowers to Quell the flames of her Rage
There are many guys who tried to send flowers to quell the burning rage of their loved ones only to get them even angrier. At which point, the guys feel as if they have thrown good money into the drain.
Its all about your intent
Guys need to realize that instead of sending bouquets because they are sorry or apologetic, they should send bouquets as a form of encouragement or mini celebration for something that she has either achieved recently. What this does is that it deactivate the memory that you made her really angry and helps her to start thinking of you as the caring and attentive man you are. It is never easy to remember small but significant events and when you will send her a bouquet to do that, it puts you back on track.
Unless she is allergic to flowers, Send her a nice bouquet
With the right intent in mind, there are a few details you need to sort out before sending anything to her. you need to first figure out if she is allergic to flowers. When we are trying to soothe her anger, its best to know if she is allergic. If she is, sending her flowers will only add fire to the flame. Quite literally.
Now that we have set that aside, There are still a few questions that may potentially bother guys in general.
1. What type of bouquet should i buy
2. What is a good time to send the bouquet
3. Do I have to say anything after she receive the bouquet?
Tip 1: Buy a neutral hue pastel Bouquet
If you have no idea what type of bouquet to buy, we will recommend a neutral hue
Tip 2: Don’t send just before your outing
Many guys make the mistake of thinking that if they were to send their loved ones a bouquet before meeting them, it will make their evening easier as their girlfriends/wife will tend to be more forgiving. That, based on our experience, never quite seem to work.
It is probably better to send it in the morning. This is because by sending it in the morning, guys not only convey that it is not a last minute hap hash order but also show some thoughtfulness as she has a long day ahead of her. The intent to please her before meeting her is less inherent when guys send bouquets first thing in the morning. In short, in goes back to the wider principle of sending bouquets because you care and not because you are sorry.
Tip 3: Keep it short and sweet
Normally guys after sending their bouquets will twiddle with their smartphones wondering if they should send a text and if they should, what they should send. This behavior gets every more complex with technology. Previously it was just about paging your girlfriend, a message that most certainly will not get replies. Then, it became an sms where guys send out an sms and just sit there waiting hopefully for that one reply. The advent of whatsapp with the online and blue tick feature now have guys on their toes as they wonder why their girlfriends were online, blue ticked them, was seen typing but never replied their message!
Our simple solution to this is to keep in mind that you are sending this bouquet to her out of care and attentiveness and not because you are apologetic. Hence, a simple ‘hope you like it’ will often suffice.