How to stop procrastinating in your relationship

Procrastination in relationships

One of the reasons why guys get in trouble in their relationships is because they have a tendency to procrastinate. When asked to do things, we will often respond with ‘I will do it later’, before shelving the thought in the 400th mental cabinet in their mind. This becomes a problem when we forgot all about it and only realised it when we are reminded of the promise we made.

A direct request is not the only thing that we guys procrastinate. Remember those times when you bungle things up by procrastinating? There are times when guys suddenly remember that they are supposed to order that flower delivery for their anniversary three days before. However, thinking that we have time to spare, we often delay the purchase. We even promise ourselves that we will look at it tonight. However, at nightfall, we are so preoccupied with our games and shows that the thought of looking for that perfect gift never came up.

Why procrastinating hurts your relationship

As a one off misstep, such procrastination can be easily forgiven. That said, such procrastination can cause small cracks in relationships. Cumulatively, these cracks can compound and get larger over time, causing stress and threatening the viability of the relationship.

With this in mind, one thing is clear for us: it is not worth it to lose the entire relationship due to that occasional procrastinating habit

Reasons why guys procrastinate

1. in a Stressful Situation

There are many occasions when we really have urgent things to tend to. These can include an urgent assignment or a family emergency that takes up most of their focus and energy. When these things happen, it is often because they have little to no mental capacity left to deal with the daily things in their lives.

The fix:

Let her know that you are currently overwhelmed and need sometime to deal with your issues. By being forthright, you avoid the issue ofprocrastination altogether as you would have given her a satisfactory answer.

2. The highly addictive game

This is one thing that most of us are guilty of. We often pay more attention to the game that we are currently playing instead of what needs to be done. Always trying to get the latest weapon or challenge the next level’s boss, we can get so obsessed with the online virtual world that we forget our girlfriends and wives do not exist in virtual reality as well.

The lure of the game in the present is a result of temporaldiscounting, a phenomenon that explains how we discount the future for thepresent. In many sense, we pay more attention to the present than we do to thatuncertain future.

The fix:

You have been in that fix before and you know getting that newlevel in your game is not worth getting into a fight with your girlfriend orwife for. With that experience, you can consistently remind yourself not tosuccumb to the temptation of paying more attention the present as compared towhat you really need to do.

3. Too difficult a task

Sometimes, the task at hand is too new or too complicated and we don’t know where to start. One example will be looking for a new flat or a new childcare. As there are so many things that goes into evaluating a flat or childcare, very often we do not know where to start.

The fix:

Sometimes big decisions become less daunting if you can discuss it with someone. Maybe she is not expecting you to do all that heavy lifting. Sometimes all a lady wants is for you to be willing to spend time to talk and discuss things with her. Through discussion, complicated things can seem relatively easier.

4. We’re afraid of failure.

Sometimes we procrastinate not because it is too hard butbecause the outcome is too uncertain. Many of us do not like to be seen asbeing failures or having failed or caused harm to another. So when we are facedwith a situation that we are unsure of, we tend to hold our horses or not wantto think about it. While this procrastination can at times help us clear ourheads, it is a problem when the problem compounds. This is because if theproblem compounds, the fear of failure will only get greater.

The Fix

Sometimes problems are not as big as we think they are. Often it is about breaking them down into a series of small bite size problems or task. That way, we can better deal with the complexity of the situation. Breaking things down into smaller pieces also helps us better control the outcome. This increase control reduces the psychological fear of failure.

Conclusion

Procrastination is part and parcel of life. With so much to do, there are sometimes where we just want to chill out and hide from all the stresses of life. However, don’t let it create pitfalls in your relationships. Watch out for these and we believe you will be just fine.

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