These days, it is impossible to live a day without our social media apps. Our actual physical personal is now so small when compared to the online persona that some of us have. We spend every waking hour looking at how to get the most instagram worthy shot of the day. It can be that awesome hydrangea bouquet that your boyfriend bought you or just a beautiful sunrise photo. Some even employ professional photographers to get them the ideal shot that can get them the most follows and most likes. The lure of this social validation makes many of us participate in this virtual social network.
While the pros and cons of being so involved in social media is a topic for another day, many of us do take to social media to display our love and intimate experiences. No, we are not thinking about sex scenes here. Rather we are talking about how many people upload their proposal pictures and videos or their love declarations on their social media pages.
We do not think it is a good idea to share these intimate experiences partly because of what a relationship is to us and also the nature of both the technology that runs the social platform as well as the dynamics of virtual social interaction in general.
What a relationship is
A relationship is highly personal between two individuals. It is a chalice that both reflects the personalities of the two individuals who have opted to be one. In addition, it is also an opportunity for both parties to challenge each other to be better versions of themselves. Hence, both intimate experiences and hallowing quarrels will be a part of the equation. It is from these conflicts that couples learn and grow closer together.
Sharing online can be lopsided
We often choose what we want to post online. As a result, some of us may only show the best parts of our relationships and not the worst. This gives those virtual followers a lopsided view of what our relationship is about. Yet that is not the most toxic. What is really scary is that in aggregate, the online image that our relationship has is actually what we want to see and be identified with. This means that on some level, we are not in touch with reality and more concerned with the appearance of having a world class, instagram worthy relationship. While that is not wrong in and of itself, it may lead us to unconsciously avoid the less pleasant aspects and earning warning signs in our relationships. This can lead to future tensions and conflicts that could have otherwise been avoided if we had been more aware and careful.
Not all comments are helpful
For those who do share their fights online, it can also lead to other issues. Sometimes a fight in a relationship can be easily fixed because it may be just a small misunderstanding. However, when you share it all over the internet or the social apps, the amount of comments from totally irrelevant people can surprise you. A small conflict can lead to 500 comments justifying how you should be angry at your counterpart for such an error. There may even be people who will give examples from their lives, showing you the consequences of letting him off easy and how you should deter him for making such a mistake. Essentially, having more than one voice in that relationship can cause you to doubt your own judgment of the situation. That can turn an intimate relationship to a complicated one that is very similar to those that celebrities have. It is no wonder that many celebs do not have lasting love relationships.
You don’t want your mother to know
It may not just be irrelevant people who get to see your post. There many also be family members or people from your past who may comment on their social media post. While you can be careful and keep your profile as private, word do get around and it is always easy to find anything that you want on the internet. When people whom you have or had a vested interest in weighs in on your relationship, it can truly wreck havoc. Just imagine your mum giving a negative comment on your instagram post about that horrible thing that your boyfriend did.
Difficult to erase those footprints
One important thing to take note before sharing these intimate experiences is to understand the nature of the internet or social profiles. Once you post something on these platforms, most of the information gets stored onto the cloud or physical servers of these companies. The problem with that is that most of these images remain on those servers in some form or another even after you deleted them from your page. Sure, there are some images that you do not mind floating around on some random server 10 years down the road. However, there are others that we do not want to be reminded of. HEnce as a mighty precaution, it is best to not post those private moments on our social media..