In life, there are bound to be ups and downs. When we are single, we often just bull doze our way through life. At times, we just sit down on the couch and watch our korean drama hoping that the bad memories and experience will just get by. During Valentine’s day, we even secretly arrange for a flower bouquet to be sent to ourselves, so that we avoid being so lonely. These are part of the reasons why we would rather be in a relationship. By being with our loved ones, we get much reprieve from all the unhappiness.
Avoiding over reliance
However, relying on our loved ones when we are down can lead to a negative spiral for our relationship. This is because, when we bring the negative energy into the relationship, we are leveraging on our partner’s positive energy to dissolve or balance our unhappiness. However, continued reliance on our partners whenever we are down can wear him or her down and make them more unhappy that they should be. This is why, while it is good to have someone to talk and share your mood and emotions with, it is also important to be spiritually aware and know how we impact our loved ones.
So we know we cannot always rely on our loved ones to help us when we are having a rough day. But does that mean we are back to square one? Living by our ice cream and Korean Drama? We do not think so. Here are some ways we can overcome the negativity and live a fulfilled interesting life.
Appreciate that you have support
The knowing that we have the support when we ask for it is actually all that we need at times. Not many people can say that their partners or spouses support them unconditionally. To be honest, many spouses may not even be emotionally present enough to know that you are having a rough day. The knowledge that we have the support we need often strengthens our spirits and make us feel as if we can deal with all the problems that we have. Sometimes, what we really need is not to share the negativity but the knowing that we are not alone dealing with big challenges.
Care for your loved ones
Instead of focusing on your own issues, you can also distract yourself by caring for your loved ones. At times you know that you have some personal issues. When you get home, your loved ones may have had a bad day too. By lending a listening ear and helping him or her solve their issue, it may also help to shed some light on your own problems. Also, when you have helped your loved ones, their relief will also have a positive effect on you. Sometimes the best medicine for yourself is simply to care about someone else.
Talking about the issue
We know we are trying to avoid bringing negativity into the house. However, you should also share your problems with your loved ones at times. This is because two brains is definitely better than one and a new perspective may allow you to better solve your challenge. If it is more of an emotional problem, a genuine share may reveal that your loved ones have had those emotions too and you are not alone in facing such problems. That may resolve any feelings on inadequateness and more importantly allow your partner to better understand whats going on with you.
Sometimes all you need is for your loved ones to give you a hug or hold your hand to show that they are with you all the way. There are many times where we observed that people are emotionally all over the place and all they need is a hug to feel more grounded.
Buy a gift for both of you
It may sound weird but buying a gift can help to alleviate the unhappy feeling. It need not be expensive. You can buy a box of ice cream to share with your loved ones while you guys watch tv together. Else you can get a flower delivery in Singapore, to put on your dining table where both of you can have evening tea. By buying an inexpensive gift for both of you to enjoy, you create a new mood or activity for the evening. That helps you to alleviate any worry and negative emotions that you have accumulated over course of the day.
Act of Service
If you are troubled and upset at work, you may want to channel your energy towards an act of service instead. Had a troubling day? Volunteer to do some housework or take out the thrash. This is good not just because it takes you out of routine and gives your brain a break from all the mental challenges. It also helps your relationship as it shows that you are willing to share the burden of maintaining your house.
Being unhappy is definitely part of being human. However, how you balance and manage it in your relationship is entirely within your control. At times we may feel that it is beyond us. However, learning to channel negative emotions towards positive constructive things that builds your relationship takes time and practice. The more we focus on the positive, the stronger our relationship will be in face of adversity. .